'I have bad news and worse news ...' - Joke

... a financial adviser says to his client. "Which would you like to hear first?"

“The bad news,” the client says.

“All your money will be gone in 24 hours.”
“Oh my gosh,” the client says. 

“What’s the worse news?”

“I should have made this call yesterday.”

Media Noise and Romours - Joke

The TV announcement runs, "Stocks fell sharply today on predictions of speculation of rumours of negative indicators."

Print and Television media create unnecessary hype and gloom about market fluctuations, creating unjustified enthusiasm as well as fear among investors. 

Attribution/ Credit:

Source from www.greekshares.com. Original copyright Randy Glasbergen, www.glasbergen.com